The Wandering Jew . . . Again

Why is it that some people can come across a belief system or philosophy and feel so totally at home there that they don't feel the need to engage in spiritual seeking outside that framework? This is not to say that I think that they stagnate but rather that they delve only further into their chosen path and do not look beyond to other belief systems either to the similarities or just in an analytical sort of way. This assumes that one examines their spiritual beliefs and grows within their spirituality or religion (which are not necessarily the same thing) at all which I know many people do not. Frankly, I can't wrap my head around that one as I have always been insatiably curious and perhaps a bit discontent with religion and where I happened to be in my spiritual journey and spirituality has been so very important to me.

Life lately hasn't permitted too much time or energy to contemplate or engage in spiritual matters with myself being physically and emotionally exhausted, the husband being in and out of the hospital and fall and subsequently winter, which blessedly has been mild thus far, being upon us. Then there's been the 2 equines that beamed down this fall and Dad to take care of and all the other things that life can throw at you to deal with. I have developed a close friendship with a very Christian woman though over the last few months and it is quite an experience. It's nice to find somebody who is just as spiritually engaged as I am but the avenues she has for expressing that spirituality and the grounding she gets from it leaves me a bit envious. Between one thing and another it hasn't been possible for the husband and I to get to synagogue services or for me to make it to the gatherings of the Goddess based women's group around here and I'm finding that I'm feeling ungrounded and somewhat adrift. Judaism puts so much emphasis on the communal structure that there isn't really anything out there for the essentially solitary Jew and as much as so much of the magical community is made up of solitaries and there are resources out there to deal with that they don't seem to give me what I need to feel part of the community. It's like I'm still wandering, trying to find my ideal spiritual home. Perhaps this is why my 2 favorite magical tools are my staff and my cloak.

It seems strange to think that it's been almost 20 yrs since I realized I'm not Christian and found myself wandering over the spiritual landscape of Judaism. One of the things I have always loved about Judaism is it's breadth which is why I don't feel like I'm betraying it as I turn to more nature based and Goddess orientated ways of worship. Conventional it's not but perhaps I am just the type of person who will find times and places to spiritually rest but at heart is always a spiritual Seeker.

People's Fair 2009

Sometimes fibromyalgia really gets in the way of doing fun stuff - like merchanting at the shows I'd really like to do. For the second year in a row Mark and I went to the People's Fair: A Metaphysical Gathering at the Prospector's Paradise rock shop north of Calumet where I had had plans on setting up a booth this year. Fibro interfered at the wrong time though, laying me out for the better part of a week, and therefore I just didn't think I'd have enough appropriate stock to make it worthwhile and I expected the economy to put a real damper on sales. We had a great time though just walking around talking to people and of course I spent way more than I should have although most of my purchases fall into the category of things that will be incorporated into a number of carved staffs I'll hopefully get done for next year. My one non-business purchase is a beautiful labradorite cabachon pendant that is becoming part of my ritual garb.

Mark and I parted ways early on and he got wrapped up in several discussions with merchants who remembered him from last year and introduced him with some wry humor to others as the token Republican at the gathering. It is really nice to be able to go to such a gathering where 99.9% of the people are moderate to far left of center in their opinions and not be afraid of being tarred and feathered; over the last 8 years Mark and I stopped associating with various social groups we had been involved with because of the venom of many liberals and their rudeness to people who did not agree with all their opinions. It's awkward having beliefs/opinions that put one at various times in both the conservative and liberal camps but that's a topic for a past and probably future posts.

Anyway, the Fair was a lot of fun with approx. 30 vendors, many of them rock people, tarot or other divinatory readers and energy healers with artisans scattered here and there. I took my staff with me and got a lot of compliments on it from people including other wood carvers which was great considering it's my first piece. I also was able to share a few tips with a beginning woodcarver which made all the trial and error I went through learning what to do with my staff worthwhile. It was just great to hang out and talk with people and I'm really looking forward to merchanting next year and camping overnight; there is a certain comeraderie between merchants at gatherings like this, ren faires and the like and we tend to let our hair down after the public has left. Although it's a way of life with NO security, I do appreciate the allure of living the gypsy life of going from fair to fair merchanting. In the mean time I'll take my fun where I can find it and look forward to the People's Fair 2010.